Political Waffler

Lou Dobbs Waffle:  The Border Fence

After a long hiatus I’m back!  And I decided to go with a waffle I’d thought about a long time ago.  Lou Dobbs(with his special brand of crazy) would from time to time advocate a border fence along the US Border.  And the US is in fact building one in parts of the southern border.  The problem is, people coming from Mexico still get through holes and gaps in that fence.  Not much of a solution to the “problem”.

So I give you The Lou Dobbs Waffle.  A buttermilk cornmeal waffle; crusty and gritty like Mr. Dobbs, with a border fence made of bacon, with huevos rancheros spilling through a gap in the fence and into America.  

I’d never had huevos rancheros before and I have to say even I was a bit skeptical about the combination of ingredients.  But Lou Dobbs, you sir have one tasty waffle.

I’m currently awaiting some ingredients for my AIG Bonus Waffle, but to tide you all over here is something from my waffle archives.

It is a Cinnamon Apple Waffle topped with Apple Butter and Sharp Cheddar Ice Cream. I’m sure there’s a Johnny Appleseed line in there somewhere or something.

Waffle #8 : The Irish Car Bomb

This Guinness Waffle topped with Irish Cream Ice Cream has the ingredients of the drink by the same(unfortunate) name and is my late St. Patrick’s Day Waffle.  And speaking of people named Patrick, this waffle also fits nicely with a description of Patrick Kennedy behind the wheel after one too many.  Hiiiioooooo.  Substance abuse is funny.

Waffle #7 :  Gov. Bobby Jindal

Like Gov. Sarah Palin, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal was supposed to be a rising star in the Republican Party.  And then(like Gov. Palin)  he spoke on national TV and embarrassed himself.  His performance while delivering the Republican response to the President’s speech drew comparisons to Kenneth The Page on 30 Rock.  But to me, his singsong speaking style reminded me of a kindergarten teacher reading Dr. Seuss to a classroom of children.  Which brings me to today’s creation:  Green Eggs & Ham!  A Sourdough Waffle topped with Prosciutto and a Sunny-side Up Egg and Pesto.

Waffle #6:  Baked Alaska(Gov. Sarah Palin)

I had worried that I missed my opportunity to make a Sarah Palin waffle, but she doesn’t seem to have any interest in returning to a simple life of misspending public funds on her family, killing the occasional moose, and keeping watch on the Russians from her backyard.  Thus, in appreciation of her continued comic value I have made this waffle in her honour.  It is Baked Alaska(like her half-baked candidacy for VP) with a Raspberry and White Chocolate Ice Cream, on a vanilla waffle.

Please don’t ask me about the calorie count on this.  Some questions, like “what newspapers do you read?” should not be asked.

note: In the interest of full disclosure, my (practically) little sister Haya is a bit of an ice cream whizz.  And her ice cream making skills(or “skillz” as the kids say) served as motivation for this waffle.

Waffle #5: Budget Negotiations

Politicians seem to love the cliche that “if you’re gonna make an omelette, you’re gonna need to crack a few eggs” especially as it pertains to financial decisions and budgeting.  Interestingly this phrase is never used when discussing embryonic stem cell research or abortion.  Go figure.  Anyway, with all the budget negotiating going on in the US and Canada I thought this waffle fit the times.  Not only does it feature that cracked egg, but there’s a whole lot of pork stuffed in there in the form of bacon.  Yes.  that’s bacon and eggs INSIDE the waffle.  In the words of Larry David “Prettaaaay, prettaaaay, pretty good.”

Waffle #4:  Playing The Race Card.  Obama Style!

Some people might notice this waffle is a looks a bit different than other waffles that came before it.  What?  That it’s made with brownie batter?  No, you racists!  I used a light whip instead of regular.  

Waffle #3: The Maverick

Why this waffle for “The Maverick” John McCain?  Well for starters it’s an old school style buttermilk waffle, and he is certainly old school.  Or old. And the good Senator can be a bit salty so it is topped with bacon.  Oh and the other toppings?  Sour Cream and Maple Syrup, because that’s a little out there and the man is a wild card!